About 10 years ago, when my oldest was in high school and he had just gotten his first cellphone. I texted him during a basketball game (watching, not playing) to find out when I should pick him up. After a few tries with no reply, and having already said "if you don't reply to the parents you lose your phone," he finally texted back and apologized.
I said, "Too late. I already called in a guy to eliminate you." I added that I'd try to cancel the hit. A couple minutes later, I texted back saying "I can't reach him. It's probably fine. Just avoid men in red shirts."
"Dad. That's one of our school colors. Half the men here are wearing red shirts."
"Oh. Well. I guess you're fucked."
His friends thought I was the funniest dad that ever lived. They really liked it when I became their substitute teacher a couple years later.
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